Change of Engagement

by LotusTorch

That is an actual statement made by someone I grew up with who is still in the Philippines. It was in an email she sent with a picture of her new daughter. Can you imagine how much self-control I had to muster so as not to respond to her email with scathing remarks? A lot. I had to take a nap to relax my nerves.

But it made me wonder, from a country that has had 2 female Presidents, how many people, women in particular, still think that a requisite for a good leader is the Y chromosome? In a time where women are advancing in the workplace, in society, and even in the most unlikely political climate, how many still blame a woman's fault on her gender?

What surprised me more is not that she made the statement, it's that it came out of HER mouth. She who was raised by a single mother and her grandmother because her Dad jumped ship when she was in grade school to start yet another family should have known better. I would think that she would have more faith in a woman's ability to run things.

The saddest part is she is raising a daughter. Don't get me wrong, I had to go through that as a child. I remember my mom making me wash the dishes when our help is on vacation while my brother watches TV after dinner, I was in 5th grade he was in college. I would object much to my mother's disappointment. But I did object. That is just one example. It just seemed that mother is as confused as society as to the dichotomy of a woman's role. In one hand she was training me to be self-sufficient, on the otherhand she was training me to be a "lady". But thank goodness she enrolled me in an all girl's school where I learned to be a "woman". I never had to worry about pleasing any guy in school because there's none hence my attention was purely on the issues surrounding me... a woman. I learned how to cross my legs when people are watching and when to let go of my jumpers to play poker with my "girls".

I would have been happy if she said she wanted boys because raising a girl is complicated. The world is not an easy place for a woman. Even in the most advanced societies we encounter the most blatant of discrimination. Unequal pay. There's no greater insult than to learn that your labor is worth less than a man's.

I wish Xandie good luck. She has a tough life ahead of her, because as her mother puts it she will not be a good leader.