Change of Engagement

by TheDivineMissM!

The last few days have been the most politicized of my life since graduating from UP. Nung Friday, actually nakalimutan ko na People Power Anniversary. The truth is, sobrang disoriented ako I thought it was a Thursday. When I came out of my flat, may paskil sa lift about the traffic re-routing and I couldn't understand what all the fuzz was about.

I didn't even know that the country was under a State of Emergency until Portia sent me an IM at work.

I missed EDSA Dos and Tres. I didn't feel as appaled as other people with the blatant corruption of the Estrada administration, and I felt distanced from the issue of social injustice that spurred Edsa Tres. Despite my fascination for men in uniform, I couldn't give a shit about the Oakwood mutiny. In fact it was Vergie who told me about despite living two blocks from that posh building.

Just now a cabinet secretary is showing slides of economic indicators. They are so disconnected with the people that they think that showing us growth rates will make us feel better? Life is so hard, even I worry about just how much I can afford these days. I know people who struggle with day to day living expenses. Do you really think that showing me inflation rates will make it easier to sleep at night on an empty stomach? Who is the audience of this administration???? Not the family who lives across our parking lot, going through the rubbish bin of the pampered people. It is so obvious that they are targetting the foreign press and foreign governments with their slides. Its not about getting the hearts and minds of the people. Its about spin.

In Search of a Hero

I saw a re-run of The American President on HBO and Michael J Fox had a line that goes something like: "People are looking for a leader. They are so thirsty for leadership they will cross the desert to find it. And if they get there and find out it's a mirage, they will drink the sand."

The Fort Bonifacio incidence is like that. A mirage. People are looking for a leader, a cause to rally around. They are so desperate they will lap up sand.

We are looking for a hero. I am glad I wasnt at EDSA Dos. I will probably chew my arm off now, and hit myself over the head with it in utter despair and regret. Why have I taken offense against this president? Her arrogance. As if the Office is her birthright, a special present at Christmas. The basic principle we were taught in Political Science is that sovereignty rests in the people. THE PEOPLE. My sovereignty is on loan -- and I can take it back.

PO 1017 and why I am royally pissed

What tipped me over? Proclamation Order 1017. Suddenly it became personal. For some reason Proclamation Order 1017 hit me. Seeing Cory walking down Ayala again made me realise that twenty years on, things haven't changed. Ironic that she started the whole PO1017 trend.

Who will make it happen? Aren't we getting old to be raging against institutions? Isn't it time to say the buck stops here? Aren't we running out of excuses why it's somebody else's job to effect change? A newspaper -- one I dont even read -- was raided. How can that not become personal?

PO 1017 is very personal. It made me scared that my action and my words or those I know would be interpreted as "inciting to sedition". I am afraid of censorship. And I don't like being made scared. Especially by a government that has lost its legitimacy in my eyes (if they ever had it in the first place).

I am a free person. My religion, and my constitution says that I am born free. I am free to think. I am free to doubt. I am free to speak. I will not be cowered by a midget hiding behind PO 1017.

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for at hero 'till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero 'till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
Larger than life